I take self-help very seriously. I only go for the big names.
Jocko Willink, Jordan Peterson, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius have all profoundly impacted my life for the better.
And I needed to get better.
The past 10 years I’ve struggled with several physical and mental health challenges. Besides being plagued by asthma and eczema, I was extremely obsessive, anxious, and (eventually) depressed.
I read many self-help books but kept coming back to these classics. Their practical philosophy played a big part in my recovery. Learning to take responsibility for my life, building better habits, and discovering discipline. I went from wallowing in my own suffering to standing up straight with my shoulders back.
But, in my continued search for bettering myself, I lost sight of something. An unchecked and implicit belief had slipped in there — that all self-improvement must be very serious, solemn, and strict.
Enter Rajiv Surendra
I discovered Rajiv through a Youtube video giving a tour of his home in New York. Parading us through all kinds of niche crafts and handmade objects in his apartment. Hopping from room to room with a cheerful and seemingly infinite energy. Contagious.
His chalkboard hallway, the kitchen he remodeled himself, his silverware collection, his homemade (goat’s milk) soap, his hand-carved cutting boards and his ‘ganseys’ (wool sweaters) “Knitted for me by Marion Brocklehurst, who is 93 this year and she knits gansey’s for Daniel Day-Lewis.”
Enjoyment, curiosity, and an almost obsessive eye for detail radiated from every project he spotlighted. Obsessive in a good way. In an ‘ooeee, I’d like to do that’ way.
When my mental health began improving I had started working with a coach and a big topic that came up was enjoyment. I had lost it completely. I didn’t even know anymore what things in life I did enjoy. A big focus of our sessions became rediscovering enjoyment.
And here was a guy with an infectious energy and irresistible enthusiasm for his ‘hobbies’. Calligraphy, chalk drawings, pottery, painting, knitting, bookbinding (I could go on, just watch the video). Discovering Rajiv reinforced and inspired the work we did in coaching.
He was a fresh breath of air as opposed to university professors, Navy SEALs and Roman emperors.
When the student is ready the teacher appears
“Something that was a hobby for ten years for me, sometimes becomes a profession. That’s why I spend a lot of time on doing the things that I love doing.” — Rajiv Surendra
Doing the things that I love doing. Rajiv helped me put that picture into focus. Noticing what I enjoy and doing more of it. Rajiv takes his enjoyment seriously. And now I do too
I discovered that I enjoy things like translating philosophical works into my own words, having hours-long conversations with intellectual friends, and watching stand-up comedy. A lot of it.
Three life-lessons that I’m taking from Rajiv:
- Find things you love (cultivate awareness around what you enjoy doing)
- Do things you love (allow yourself time and space to actually do them, put them on your calendar)
- Don’t underestimate things you love (practice them, take them seriously)
Because enjoyment is a guiding principle, he has truly carved out his own niche.
He has molded the world around his interests instead of the other way around. Accumulating every craft he has picked up into a colorful, authentic, and unique way to make a living. Showing us how to make your bed and wash the dishes with the same enthusiasm as how to carve a wooden cutboard or bookbinding.
I found an undercurrent of self-improvement lessons under his energetic and playful exterior and realized I was taking things too seriously, even the serious things.
Temperance
I still read my serious heroes, but I’ve been able to let go of the strictness of my regime. I’ve found exceptions to my rules. I’m not obsessive about skipping a day.
I’m diving into my nerdy hobbies, not with an end goal in mind but because I thoroughly enjoy the process. Trusting that things I love doing are worthwhile for their own sake and that I will become a better person through it
If you’re inspired like I am and you can’t get enough of Rajiv, no worries. Here’s a youtube playlist with his best youtube videos.
Enjoy.